


Dead or Alive

by Guardian_of_Hope



Series: What Lies Beneath [1]
Category: Iron Man - Fandom, Marvel (Movies), captain ameria, the avengers 2012
Genre: Angst, Drama, self hate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-12
Updated: 2011-11-19
Packaged: 2017-10-25 23:37:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 1,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/276105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Guardian_of_Hope/pseuds/Guardian_of_Hope
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thoughts on life by two superheros</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Steve

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, this is based off watching Captain America and the Iron Man movies and reading a TON of fanfic for The Avengers lately. Angsty, but short. Will possibly have more parts to it later.

Steve Rogers is dead.

  
And no one else knows it.

It’s been almost seventy years since he’d crashed Schmidt’s plane to save the planet. He shouldn’t be alive. The first few days after waking up, he tries. He really does. Too many people look at him and say Captain America before Captain Rogers and it’s a reminder.

It’s a hard thing to face, learning that you were the hero of two generations. People you knew, people you cared about, and admired, they were gone. Forgotten.

Steve doesn’t want to admit he is alive, because then Bucky and Betty, and Stark aren’t there to be his friends. The Howling Commandos won’t be watching his back while challenging each other to greater feats of idiocy designed to push the Colonel to the verge of a heart attack.

In the end, lost, alone, Steve asks to go to church. He’s never felt particularly religious. Never claimed to be a God fearing man, but it seemed that a church was the best place to say good bye.

Steve Rogers is dead because Captain America lived.


	2. Tony

Tony Stark is alive.

At least, that’s what everyone tells him.

He’s told he survived the convoy, the cave, Stane, palladium poisoning and even managed not to die in a car crash or by alcohol poisoning along the way.

Standing on the back side of another chance (and really wasn’t getting a SECOND chance supposed to be a miracle?) Tony knows he should already be dead.

If he thought about it (which he DOESN’T) he might wonder how many more chances he has left. (Not that he’s counting or anything.)

But Tony Stark is alive and that is supposed to matter.

Except it doesn’t.

Iron Man: Yes. Tony Stark: Not Recommended.

It is the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard. Yes Rhodey, or War Machine, or whatever they’re calling him, has a suit. Tony built him that suit. But it’s big and clunky and has a weapon and it looks impressive and it is nothing at all like Tony’s suit. It isn’t even remotely like Iron Man; it has half the technology, upgrades or interfaces. It will never be exactly like Iron Man.

After all, it’s been proven that anyone with the codes can fly Rhodey’s suit.

No one else can be Iron Man.

Iron Man isn’t a suit or an alter-ego, it’s just Tony Stark. It’s Tony Stark being serious, sober and responsible. It’s just one man using his mind and his gifts to make a difference.

Tony actually does understand that people don’t get that. It’s probably even his fault. He’d let the world make Iron Man into a separate persona and he’d never even protested. The closest he’d ever come was an anonymously posted image of Tony drunk side by side with Iron Man and the caption ‘Don’t make Tony Stark sober. You won’t like him when he’s sober’.

Nobody got it, but that’s ok.

Nobody understands that there is no difference between Tony Stark and Iron Man, but that’s ok.

Nobody cares that Tony Stark is alive, but that’s ok.

At least, that’s what he tells himself.


	3. Masks or No Masks

Captain America didn’t like Tony Stark. Until he met Iron Man.

First impressions being what they are, Tony Stark did not present a good first impression and Captain America had visions of everyone dying a fiery death because of this ‘billionaire, genius, playboy, philanthropist’ couldn’t take anything serious.

Then they fought and Iron Man was there. Every time Captain America expected to have to take up the slack, Iron Man was already doing the job. Yes, he had to listento Tony Stark snark and snipe with Barton and Romanov, but Iron Man was as reliable as Captain America could have wanted.

As they wound down before heading into briefing, Captain America found himself watching as Tony’s army of machines helped him out of his armor and he saw the man’s face. For a few seconds right after the helmet came off, he saw the intense focus that Iron Man had clearly needed in battle. Then Tony saw him and was saying something stupid that Captain America ignored.

He’d seen something in that moment and he knows it. He can’t really explain it, but the look on Tony’s face stuck with him. He thinks that maybe, maybe, he could like Tony Stark.

Yes, Captain America didn’t like Tony Stark. Until he met Iron Man.


	4. What Is

Tony Stark didn’t like Captain America.

It took him a few minutes to realize it. Mostly because his first reactions were, _he’s a kid,_ and _oh my God, Captain America._ Somehow, the few times his dad really talked about the missing Steve Rogers, he had failed to mention the man’s relative youth.

Then the man had made the same mistake everyone else does and Tony decided he didn’t like him. He assumed that Tony and Iron Man were alter egos. _“Big man in a suit of armor, take that away, what are you?”_

Yeah, Tony had been needling the kid a bit, and he had told him the truth when he said he didn’t play well with others. Because he _didn’t._ The only people who had ever kept up with him was Rhodey and Pepper and there were times even they had to catch up, not keep up.

Still, that didn’t mean the kid could act like he was worth only the technology he could bring to the table. If Captain America could even comprehend the technology. Which given who Fury probably had teaching him about the twenty-first century was probably an accurate statement.

The only thing keeping Tony from really unleashing on the man was that his dad had _respected_ Captain America. There had been no disrespect for the fallen hero in the Stark household, and Tony could still vividly remember his father’s near violent reaction to Tony’s one rebellious comment.

Howard Stark had respected few men, and with one exception, Tony had found his dad’s judgement was fairly sound. Of course, he had a sneaking hope that Stane had had something on his dad to produce the facsimile of respect. So Tony was going to, if not play nice, at least make an attempt of working with the Star Spangled Man.

But Tony Stark did not like Captain America. At. All.


	5. The Inside

Tony Stark made Captain America nervous.

He didn’t know how to explain it, but even as Tony Stark continued to prove himself as an incredible Avenger, he also seemed to regard Captain America with exceptional dislike.

Then, they got caught. Captain America isn’t entirely certain how they managed to get captured, but it happened. Stuck in a hole he couldn’t break out of, with Tony Stark not in his armor, something happened.

Even as Tony picked and nettled him, even as he snapped back and tried to find a way out, something happened. He wasn’t sure if he’d said something or did something, but Tony had stopped yelling at him and had simply stared at him.

The look in his eyes was if some puzzle had been solved.

Thor and Hulk yanked the cover off the hole, and Barton and Romanov dropped ropes for them to climb up and whatever it was that Tony had figured out, he said nothing.

That night, however, a DVD appeared in Captain America’s quarters and when Barton showed him how to make it play, it confused him.

It was a recording of different news stories, about Tony Stark, about how he shouldn’t have survived this, that or the other. Captain America isn’t sure what Tony is trying to say, even as Barton complains about Tony’s self centered narcissism, but it makes him nervous.

Tony Stark has figured something out about Captain America.

Tony Stark made Captain America nervous.


	6. Understand

Captain America made Tony Stark nervous.

He didn’t really like the guy, but Tony watched people. He rarely talked about it, but he watched them. He didn’t understand what he saw every time, but he watched. And there was something wrong with Captain America.

The epiphany came when he’d called the man Rogers and cracked the shell of mild annoyance. Sure they were captured and he probably shouldn’t mention his name, but the vehement anger had not been what Tony expected.

Like it was a physics problem, the pieces of the puzzle came together in an instant and Tony did _not_ like what he’d figured out.

The facts were simple.

Captain America survived his icy grave.

Steve Rogers should never have survived.

Ergo, Steve Rogers was dead.

It made Tony nervous to realize the man who was supposed to be their leader believed he was dead inside and nobody else saw it. After their rescue, Tony thought about it, and he could tell no one else saw it. SHIELD wouldn’t have let him carry a gun, much less go into battle if they’d believed that Captain America was that much of a risk.

Something had to be done, and Tony wasn’t sure what. But he had an idea of a start. So he called JARVIS in a moment of privacy and requested that a copy of his special video be sent to his email. Four minutes of hacking Coulson’s computer and he had his start.

He only hoped that Steve Rogers got the message.

Steve Rogers wasn’t the only one of them who shouldn’t be alive, and Steve Rogers wasn’t dead.

That’s why Captain America made Tony Stark nervous.


	7. Living

Captain America wasn’t sure about Tony Stark.

Every time he thought he’d figured out his teammate, the man did something new. It wasn’t always a good new either. Recently, if Tony found him out of costume, he called him Steve and he insisted Captain America called him Tony.

For some reason, even though other people called him ‘Steve’ ‘Rogers’ or even ‘Captain Rogers’, it never bothered him the way Tony did. Maybe it was because Tony just said it, often meeting his eyes at the same time.

Tony called him Steve like the name meant something, like it should have meaning for him beyond someone who should never have survived. Steve tried to act like it didn’t bother him. Like he didn’t feel a tiny bit of relief at someone finally seeing Steve Rogers and not Captain America.

Because Steve Rogers should be dead.

Captain America wasn’t sure about Tony Stark, because he didn’t seem to believe that.


End file.
